Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
