if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
