I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
farters have to be the big spoon...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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