Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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