When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
