Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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