yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
