I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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