i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
