she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
