I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
