Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
