She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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