I love black thongs
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
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I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
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It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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