Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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