I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize