I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
