I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
