Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
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dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
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