Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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