My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize