New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
