So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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