what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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