apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize