its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
