I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
