dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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