why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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