that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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