we have officially lost it.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
