Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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