you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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