We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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