I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize