I think my vagina is haunted
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.