Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".

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  (706): Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe". http://tfl.nu/cnav
  Replies (7) Good night (2567) Bad night (806)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy

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  (281): i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy http://tfl.nu/yz4e
  Replies (4) Good night (2743) Bad night (734)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.

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  (412): It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg. http://tfl.nu/82qd
  Replies (46) Good night (1724) Bad night (3285)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...

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  (904): I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem... http://tfl.nu/1w4y
  Replies (43) Good night (5652) Bad night (860)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph

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  (732): all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time (1-732): swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph http://tfl.nu/tobf
  Replies (11) Good night (4825) Bad night (1198)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.

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  (813): Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again. http://tfl.nu/0xdw
  Replies (14) Good night (802) Bad night (4325)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.

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  (203): I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup. http://tfl.nu/cqod
  Replies (5) Good night (2451) Bad night (682)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.

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  (541): I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now. http://tfl.nu/mv3i
  Replies (2) Good night (1538) Bad night (705)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.

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  (203): a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away. http://tfl.nu/13eg
  Replies (10) Good night (2226) Bad night (809)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1

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  (231): I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1 http://tfl.nu/tow3
  Replies (7) Good night (1240) Bad night (886)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.

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  (440): While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from. http://tfl.nu/t77t
  Replies (19) Good night (1127) Bad night (1931)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  just found out that she named her cat after me.

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  (612): just found out that she named her cat after me. http://tfl.nu/gcoa
  Replies (4) Good night (377) Bad night (843)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.

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  (727): You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest. http://tfl.nu/2kj8
  Replies (4) Good night (1076) Bad night (300)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.

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  (320): I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED. http://tfl.nu/gyzc
  Replies (8) Good night (909) Bad night (314)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.

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  (740): I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas. http://tfl.nu/p3js
  Replies (4) Good night (572) Bad night (313)

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