I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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