I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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