if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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