I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
