I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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