Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
