he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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