I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
