I'm really into asian looking animals
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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