its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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