well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Quick, to the slutcave!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize