Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
