well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
