Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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