I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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