Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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