So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just invented taco cereal.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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