we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
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on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
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Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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