Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
