How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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