so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
4 words: hood of his car
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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