Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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