I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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