once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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