new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
even my farts smell like vagina
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize