My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
