Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
