Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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