IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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